Thursday, July 07, 2011
State of Limbo
I recently found out that the world's most difficult words are "Can I talk to you in private for a minute?"
This sentence evokes mysterious responses. People let their imaginations run wild and most likely conclude that something is definitely wrong. So I witnessed similar responses when I put down my papers recently. I went up to the HR person and asked her, "Can I talk to you in private for a minute?" She was bewildered. The fact, that this is resignation season, didn't help either. Immediately she was suspicious and the long walk from her cubicle to the conference room seemed like eternity. Inside the conference room, the atmosphere was sombre and tensed. People passing by were glancing inside and wondering, what is the conversation about. When I walked up to my manager to say "Can I talk to you in private for a minute?" I think she had guessed it, because appraisal seasons are long gone, no project related work was ongoing and I looked visibly very tensed and stressed.
When you put down the papers in your organization, things change immediately. You feel the piercing gaze that is directed at you, evaluating you, doubting your intentions, doubting your professionalism, doubting your commitment towards work etc. Now I have entered a state of limbo. Where you realize you are neither inside nor outside the organization. You don't know whether you should attend team meetings, you don't know whether you should act normally and offer your opinion on the state of affairs of the company, you don't know whom to tell and whom not to. You always feel that incase you arrive late some day, people will start mocking and doubting your professionalism. So this is the state of limbo. You just want to go through the motions without emotions.
Let me conclude with a borrowed a line from Facebook status of a friend - "Appraisal hote hain... Disappointment ka sama hota hai..... Aise mausam mei hi to attrition jawaan hota hai...Dil ki khunus hum jubaan se nahin kahte...Yeh fasana to resignation se bayan hota hai"